Saturday, February 9, 2008

Fucked! In Space!


In the future (1987), a spaceship is built with a revolutionary new propulsion system. Instead of a measly rocket engine or an infeasible ‘Warp Drive,’ this spaceship has a ‘Sex Drive.’ The pilot must make passionate love to the ship for it to launch. On its maiden voyage, the sex drive turns out to be so powerful it destroys Earth. Now, the last remnants of humanity are at the mercy of this poorly constructed spaceship and its incompetent crew.

‘Fucked! In Space!’ will be an on going series on the internet. Although it is chalk full of sexually suggestive material, it is not a porn. No one has to get naked.

The sets, props, and overall look of this sci-fi comedy will harken back to the good ol’ days, before CGI, when sets, props, and the overall look of sci-fi was pretty shitty. Think B movie. Think cardboard and tinfoil. Lots of cardboard and tinfoil. And blinking lights.


Doctor Scuba:

Head of the World Science Ministry. Nominal designer of the Spaceship. He isn’t really a doctor. He never even finished college. Doctor is just his first name but people mistake him for a scientist all the time. He never corrects them. Conniving and arrogant yet charming. An all around asshole.

Captain J. Wicker Homily:

Commanding officer of the spaceship and battle-worn veteran of a dozen wars. He wears an eye patch, a ton of guns, and a sense of grizzled authority. He also has the mind of a six-year-old.

Amelia Spaceheart:

Pilot of the spaceship. Because of the unique nature of the ship’s propulsion system, Spaceheart must have sex with the ship in order for it to get off (heh) the planet. Hot tempered, she is in love with the ship and guards it jealously. She can be a disciplined military officer, a passionate lover, or a giddy schoolgirl, depending on the situation. She might be a bit mentally unstable.

Wallie Audio:
Trust fund hippie ecoterrorist/activist. She doesn’t completely understand the causes she fights for but she’s willing to die for them. Although she’s idealistic to a fault, she’d enthusiastically give up all she believes in for a guitar signed by Cat Power.


Nameless, rankless member of the spaceship crew. Insurmountably optimistic and na├»ve. He seems to know more than he should. He’s just a normal dude without any clear aspirations. You will expect him to die.

A grown man in a cardboard robot suit who believes he’s a robot who longs to be human. Get it? Pretty clever, I know.


Controlled by an artificial intelligence that in turn is controlled by an artificial libido. Instead of normal rockets or a warp drive, this spaceship has a ‘sex drive.’ It needs a person to have sex with it in order to launch. Its insatiable sexual appetite makes the ship rather promiscuous, fueling Amelia Spaceheart’s jealous rages. The propulsion system is powerful enough to destroy planet earth—which it does.

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